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What was daily life like for a German immigrant widow raising eight children on a farm in rural Indiana during the 1870s? My second great-grandmother, Mary Wrightweasner Graf, found herself in that very situation. She became a widow in her mid-thirties after the death of her husband, Johann Caspar Graf, in 1869. At the time of his passing, their eight children ranged in age from one to sixteen. Caroline was 16, Philippina 14, Jacob 12, Philip 9, Henry 8, George 5, Valentine 4, and Elizabeth just 1 year old.
Mary Wrightweasner Graf was widowed at a time when women had few legal rights and even fewer resources, she relied on her faith, her children, and her own determination to keep her family and farm running. I decided to research what a day in her life might have looked like in Miami county, Indiana.
Before Sunrise (4:30–6:00 AM)
Mary’s day likely began in the dark, with the glow of an oil lamp or the crackle of a rekindled hearth fire. A morning prayer or Scripture reading may have grounded her before the chaos of the day began. She would haul water from the well, light the stove, and begin preparing breakfast. Cornmeal mush, leftover meat, or fried potatoes, enough to feed a household of nine, were common at the time.
Morning (6:00–10:00 AM)
With the sun rising, the farm came alive. Older children helped with chores: feeding livestock, milking cows, collecting eggs. Mary directed this hive of activity, often working alongside them while keeping an eye on the youngest.
On Mondays, the laundry took over. Clothes were scrubbed by hand with lye soap, wrung out, and hung on lines to dry. With eight children, laundry was never truly finished. The older girls would help with this chore.
Late Morning (10:00 AM–12:00 PM)
The morning continued with housework like sweeping floors, mending clothes, or preparing food for preservation. If her children attended school, Mary ensured they left properly dressed, with packed lunches of bread and jam or cheese.
Midday Meal (12:00–1:00 PM)
Dinner was the day’s main meal. A hearty stew, boiled potatoes, or fresh vegetables filled the table. After eating, Mary and her children scraped plates, saved scraps for animals, and washed the dishes by hand, of course.
Afternoon (1:00–5:00 PM)
Afternoons brought garden work and food preservation, depending on the season. Mary might render lard, can fruit, or stir homemade soap. She sewed clothing from flour sacks and mended garments too valuable to discard.
As a widow, she was also the farm’s business manager. She may have bartered eggs, butter, or produce, kept a ledger, and handled transactions that sustained her family.
Evening (5:00–8:00 PM)
Supper was lighter bread and milk, or maybe cold meat and soup. Afterward, the family gathered by candlelight. They sang hymns, read together, or the older children helped the younger ones with their lessons. Mary checked the barn one last time before nightfall.
Bathing was a shared ritual in a tin washtub, the water reused between siblings and only done a couple of times a week. Finally, with everyone in bed, Mary might have sat by the lamplightda rning socks, writing in a journal, or reading from her Bible.
Night (8:00 PM onward)
Sleep came late and lightly. Mary may have shared her bed with a small child or slept alone, always alert to a child’s cough or an unfamiliar noise outside. Indoor plumbing didn’t exist and chamber pots were a necessity.
Reflections on Resilience
Mary’s world was one of survival but also of strength, structure, and love. She raised her children without a vote, without a pension, and with few rights, yet she gave them something far more enduring: grit, values, and the ability to thrive against the odds.
Her story is not just history. It’s a legacy, passed down through generations. It's a reminder that behind every family tree is a woman who held it all together. Mary never remarried and lived to the age of 63, having raised eight children who gave her many grandchildren.
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